Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Who died my cat blue again?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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