i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Fuck appropriateness.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
