I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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