I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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