I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Randomize
