Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
