FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
