just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
