you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
