my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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