i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize