Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
