peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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