Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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