Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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