I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's blow job season.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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