In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
