Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
