i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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