Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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