I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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