Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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