i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
