i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
its not stalking. its research.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
