You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
