I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i've created a new STD.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
