You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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