where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
