i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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