VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sext me about skeletons
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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