You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
