real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
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I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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