K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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