No stitches, just platelets and will power
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
