I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wear drunk well.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
