no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
