I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
