just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
