Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
