It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
