I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
