had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
