I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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