i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
