that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
