sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My penis needs a shock collar
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
