i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
