So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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