honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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