# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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