A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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