you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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