Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
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No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
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The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
send nudes
from the living room?
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