if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
