He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Randomize
