She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
