It's Friday. Sex?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
